Watchmen Review

Director- Zack Snyder
By the way- Spoiler Warning (that is, if you haven't read the book)

Arguably the most influencial piece of fiction in the past 20 years, Watchmen first started out in 1986 as a comic mini-series later published together as a Graphic Novel. Let's start out with the premise at the start, and see where we can find places that directly lifted from the comic. Masked heroes are outlawed and someone is picking them off (The Incredibles). Eventually, a plot is discovered to destroy part of New York City in order to unite the world in peace (Heroes: Season 1). However, what makes those two works different is that those stories were almost all about superheroes. With the exception of one character, these are people who decide to put on a mask and fight crime. Watchmen is about how those people would actually be like in such a world. Watchmen's answer- they'd be kinda fucked up. In that, the movie gets it right. In others.....not so much.

Let me start with the good:

The Opening Credits- Laying the setup for the world the audience is about to enter is flawless. A series of images of past heroes set to Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are A-Changin' " gives you a sense of what is about to come. If this didn't work, the entire movie would fall flat.

Jackie Earle Haley- The guy is Rorschach, no doubt about it. Every little thing about him screams Rorschach. If there's any reason to watch the movie, it's him.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan- Playing The Comedian with enough charm and cynicism , JDM is...well, I don't want to say joy because some of the things his character does are atrocious, but he's another actor that should be watched in the future.

Billy Crudup- He's pretty much the voice of Doc Manhattan, and he does it extremely well. Making Doctor Manhattan sound distant and out of touch with humanity while still maintaining one last sliver of it. Well, he is the narrator of the Mastercard ads and the voice of Prince Ashitaka in the American Dub of Princess Mononoke.

Parts of the Soundtrack- I've already said about Bob Dylan's song, but there's another song that he wrote that's also in the film. "All Along the Watchtower" as played by Jimi Hendrix. But to be fair, I could hear that music with a guy reading a book, I'd really enjoyed it. Another is the use of Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence" during Edward Blakes funeral.

The "What the Fuck?" Department:

The Sex Scene on Archie- It's not so much a complaint as more a statement of confusion. I like seeing more of Malin Akerman any day, but what did it show? That Dan can get an erection? That could have been done without the sex scene especially with "Hallelujah" playing over it, which brings me to my next point.

Parts of the Soundtrack- That's the giant one but there's others that just feel out of place like Nat Cole's "Unforgettable." It just felt really out of place.

Ozymandias character change- In the novel, it's actually a surprise to find out that he's behind all the shit going on in the Watchmen universe, but in the film all that's missing is the mustache for Matthew Goode to twirl. Novel Ozzy- A brilliant man who believes that the ends justify the means to disasterous consequences. Film Ozzy- A smart pompous twat who believes that the ends justify the means to disasterous consequences.

The rest of the movie falls between decent and dull. But I'm going to elaborate on the Ozymandias character change. It's part of the dumbing down that occured. Don't get me wrong, parts of it had to be done. That's the only way Watchmen gets condensed into a near 3 hour movie. Some were just pointless and actually bothered me. In the novel, the character is actually human. There's this wonderful scene that when the plan goes through and millions are killed, Ozymandias asks Doctor Manhattan if what he did was good in the end, and the Doc answers something along the lines of "Adrian. Nothing ever ends," which I always read in the intonation of "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." That line is in the movie, but it was done poorly. And further dumbing down was the crazy action sequences. All these people should be like Chris Nolan's Batman: able to beat the crap out of people while still escaping minimally harmed. Not being able to punch a dude ten feet. It loses the idea that these people are only fucked-up dudes in tights. Now they're juiced-up, fucked-up dudes in tights. Finally, the last scene I'm going to talk about dumbing down that bothered me was Laurie finding out The Comedian was her father. I could go on a long diatribe about how the scene is better in the book than the movie (It is, btw), but I'll just go ahead and say it's the classic mistake of telling rather than showing.

Some last thoughts: I wasn't bothered by the ending change. It fit well enough, and the makers probably thought they were already asking the regular viewing audience a lot already (A blue dick? For cereal?), and maybe sending a giant squid into Manhattan, blowing it up, and blaming extraterrestrials which would unite the USSR and USA against a single enemy would have put them right over the edge. Also, despite my complaints, I enjoyed the film. I'm of the "Giant Blue Dick Watchmen Instead of No Watchmen" group. I'll see it again, and I'll probably buy the Director's Cut. Hopefully it'll add some things for explanation and take out some things that dumbed it down. Right now it's a:

7/10